He’s quietly smitten with Head Chef Brigitte Brioche (though Amuseables Coffee Cup says it’s obvious), and spends weekends at Gare du Nord, timing the Eurostar to the second.

Trainspotting might not be the most Parisian of pastimes, but Croissant’s committed. He’s even planning a London café (and rail) tour – just as soon as he plucks up the courage to invite Brigitte…